K.O. for Brooke-O: Thunder from Down Under loving second D.I.C.K win whilst Whitehead pops in frustration.
Report by Jonathan Rallings
Brooke ‘Brooke-O’ Lumicisi rode her way to a second D.I.C.K. title becoming only the fourth competitor to secure multiple D.I.C.K.s and the first from overseas to do so. It was a sweet moment for the Thunder from Down Under who so narrowly missed out in last year’s final and delivered a devastating display of power and accuracy to prevail.
However, the energy of the 20th edition of the competition was slightly dampened not only by heavy rain early on but also by a controversial decision from the umpires that saw all-time nut king Glen Whitehead eliminated in the last 16. The veteran champion left Dulwich visibly fuming and may have greater ramifications in the future as he declared with a parting shot that he “may go Peckham” next year…
Whitehead was actually the first swinger in this year’s tournament, facing young up-and-coming talent Florence Harris in a qualifier. It was slow start but the newcomer held her own, barked on by canine companion Arlo, admirably pushing the champion all the way to additional time. Whitehead eventually prevailed 3up&2, leaving Florence to take this year’s Short D.I.C.K. award, but was made to work for his victory. Another newcomer, Alex Agar, lined up against Becky Harris tasting her third consecutive D.I.C.K. action. This was a dirty affair with both competitors snagging twice amid some solid pounding but eventually Agar snagged for a third and decisive time with his last shot in sudden death.
Amy Hoy then played ‘Scary’ Sarah Gardner, who had picked up the Dastardy D.I.C.K. award for scurrilous play in the past two years. But Gardner was on her best behaviour in this characteristically stodgy victory by 2020 champion, Hoy, who ground her opponent down and prevailed 4-3 on a tiebreak. Florence Whitehead then made her debut in the competition against another newcomer, Raef Harris, who exuded power over accuracy, eventually shattering his own conker and nearly his own knee too.
Veteran Steve Hoy came out similarly smashing with some devastating pummelling of Seb Kohon. Kohon initially looked shrivelled with his little nut in the face of this dominance, but slowly found the confidence to blow hard himself, but despite a couple of snags Hoy held his nerve to progress 4up&3.
With qualifying over, the first round saw Alex Dunlop – returning to the fray for the first time since his online victory in 2020’s Virtual Conkers during the pandemic – play Italy’s Chiara Kohon. Dunlop was typically brutal in his approach, but licking her conker for luck the Italian exuded style and blew back with some damage, eventually exposing Alex’s crack for all to see. This forced Dunlop onto the backfoot, but he held on for a 5-4 victory in overtime. Ralfe ‘Snagger‘ Rallings then surprised everyone with a clean performance against Andrew Mills in an entertaining tussle that saw both conkers sustain damage. But unfortunately for Rallings his nut exploded after some particularly rough contact from Mills.
Glen Whitehead then stepped up to face Owen Lewis in what would end up as one of the most disputed matches in D.I.C.K. history. Initially it looked straightforward as the three-time champion faced a torrent of conker-bashing from one of the harder players to have never won the title, but Whitehead stood proud in the face of this. However in extra time he deliberately flinched by pulling his nut up as Lewis went for the fourth of his nine regulation swings. The judges stepped in immediately to direct Lewis to re-swing but also unusually warned Whitehead that in the event of a tie at the end of the overtime this would count against him. With the sudden death ending 8-8 what had appeared a throwaway warning from the umpires became a grim reality as after brief conference the disqualification was confirmed. With his protests waved away Glen screamed “this never happened to Ray Kelly!” referring to the former champion who was well known for hoisting his nut in intimidating fashion. But the decision was made, whilst Lewis could feel quietly confident that his performance in defeating the former champ now put him as bookie’s favourite for this year’s title. Whitehead picked up the Dastardly D.I.C.K. award for his petulance, making him only the second contestant to have won all three major D.I.C.K. titles – King, Dastardly, and Short.
Former runner-up Hayley Dunlop then stepped forth for her first D.I.C.K. since 2013 – “riding the comeback” as she put it. She faced Fred Hoy, who had clearly eschewed the performative bling of last year’s sumo suit and put some work in on the training park with a skilful performance. Dunlop struggled to find the form that had made her a leading light in decades past, snagging two times, before Hoy eased out 2up&1 in overtime. Becky Harris then returned to face Stan Gavigan in a slow game that she also won 2up&1 in sudden death – her first bona fide victory in open competition the previous two having come when her opponents’ nuts burst in front of her.
Florence Whitehead hoped to avenge her dad’s dismissal facing Ollie Hoy but served only to compound it by accruing a snag with her first swing and then another before the end. Hoy junior has struggled since being the youngest player to make a semi-final in 2021, but showed his class here acting as effectively as Clearasil in erasing the last Whitehead from the face of this year’s competition, again 2up&1. Amy Hoy then met Dan Johnson in a low scoring contest, but after swinging wildly for five minutes Johnson then found his eye to a convincing 4up&3 win.
The final match of the last 16 saw Brooke-O finally enter the fray. She had declared that she “wasn’t feeling it this year” in interviews ahead of the contest, and many agreed her potential path to the title looked daunting, starting with the in-form Steve Hoy. But this was a good contest between two hard hitting players – eventually though it was Lumicisi’s deadly accuracy which was to prove the difference with a 100% hit rate from eight swings meaning she prevailed 4up&3.
The quarter finals commenced with Fred Hoy facing Andrew Mills. Much was expected after Hoy’s impressive first round tie, but here his focus slipped and as well as snagging twice he was extremely lucky to avoid a third when Mills dropped his conker. Mills had to deal with his conker becoming damaged early, but played a canny game with his nut to hold on to triumph 7-6 eventually. The other young Hoy, Ollie, then faced Dan Johnson – both players snagged in this one but Johnson saw out sudden death 2up&1. Hoy departed in a fit of pique showing that although improved this year, he still needs to work on his temperament at this highest level.
Owen Lewis then took on Becky Harris in the first ever clash between the partners. Both players snagged en route to Lewis romping home in a tiebreak 3up&2 despite an under par performance – he later admitted he was treading water to make his semi. The final quarter saw perhaps the best quality match of the day as two former champions Brooke Lumicisi and Alex Dunlop traded hard hits with neither quite making the breakthrough they wanted. Lumicisi retained her 100% hit rate in overtime to see off a disappointed Dunlop in the end.
The semi-finals began with Dan Johnson facing Owen Lewis. This looked a straightforward tie for Lewis, desperately anxious to reach his first final, as he bore down on his opponent’s nut with a frenzied thirst to relieve this urge. Unfortunately for him there was a twist in the tale in overtime as Johnson, swinging to stay alive, managed to take a huge chunk out of Owen before missing his next shot. Lewis progressed 4up&3, but with the remains of his conker hanging by a thread. In the other semi Brooke Lumicisi incurred an early snag before Andrew Mills burst all over the arena to crash out and put the Australian through to her second consecutive D.I.C.K. final, and her fourth overall.
The third place play-off was a contrast of emotions – whilst Mills looked visibly broken at not being able to improve on his all-time best of runner up in 2022, Dan Johnson just looked delighted to have a shot at third place: “I’ve never been this deep before” he shouted to the crowd. It was a thrilling match in the end with both players swinging hard and clearly wanting it, eventually going all the way to sudden death overtime with Dan just edging it 10-9 to become the first Johnson out on the podium since wife Sophie came 2nd in 2016. So to the final, which ended up a non-contest as Lewis presented his puny withered nut for Lumicisi to explode in less than a minute. “Fantastic feeling, mate” said Brooke-O – “I just hope it can inspire more Australians to put down their Gum Nuts and start playing with the real thing”. She will be back next year. But will the Whiteheads return?
2024 D.I.C.K. Results
- 1st: Brooke Lumicisi
- 2nd: Owen Lewis
- 3rd: Andy Mills
- Short D.I.C.K.: Florence Harris
- Dastardly D.I.C.K.: Glen Whitehead
Photos
